It looks like this has not had care and feeding for some time, but the IT bloopers are still funny. Maybe we should add them here at the IT Room. http://searchwinit.techtarget.com/tipsIndex/0,289482,sid1_tax294820_alpD_idx0,00.html... read story

Drumroll please... #7: Legacy systems archaeologist WANTED: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH 3270, VAX/VMS, COBOL, AS/400, AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT OF 55.#6:Help desk zombieExcellent entry-level opportunity for multitasking individual with low self-esteem. Ability to read from scripts a plus. Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician, or tape rotation coordinator.#5: On-site reboot specialistSeeking individuals for on-site support of end-users. Must be familiar with three-fingered Ctrl-Alt-Del salute and power cord reconfiguration. Ability to withstand a variety of environments and personality types; concealed-weapons permit a plus. Individuals with anger management issues need not apply.#4: Interdepartmental peace negotiator Looking for self-starter skilled at moderating tech disputes between warring factions within the same company or between company and its client. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulative massage, and hand-to-hand combat.#3: Enterprise espionage engineer (black ops)Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking, and entering for penetration testing of enterprise networks. Requirements include familiarity with hacking, malware, and forgery; must be able to plausibly impersonate a pest control specialist or a fire marshal. Please submit rap sheet along with resume.#2: Datacenter migration specialist Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenter over impossible distances within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience as cable jockey, rack-n-stack grunt, console monkey, and/or log zombie a plus.#1: Sludge systems architectSeeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/03/10/11FE-dirty-tech-jobs_1.html... read story

Alrighty so on our network we use DHCP for everything. If the computer/device needs a static IP address...we configure a reservation for the device on the DHCP server and it get's the same IP address everytime it comes online.This printer tech installing an HP indigo printer can't seem to grasp the concept of DHCP.Printer Tech: "I've seen that option in the settings but I'm not so sure that's a good idea.....I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES (LOL), besides...how's it going to get the gateway address and subnet mask?"Me: DHCP delivers all of those items and allows us to keep track of the assets on our network. Please set the card to DHCP....also can you tell me the mac address?Printer Tech: The what address? That's what Im asking you for idiot (he really did call me an idiot, LMAO), I need an IP address, how am I going to give that to you?Me: No the mac address... ( I then explain what a mac address is to this dolt).An hour later their ready to go live with the printer...Print Tech: So this address thing...can you give me an ip addressMe: Thunk Thunk Thunk (Hitting head against wall)Print Tech's must spawn from a toner cartridge somewhere...they are not human.... read story

-…You don’t know how many management dashboards you are using-…Your server utilization is still at 5% and you can’t figure out how to get it to 6%-…Your Unix administrator retired and won’t return your calls-…You wake up one day and have 1245 servers in 15 locations-…A server goes down and you have no idea where it is-…You have more than 4 client images and more than 10 server images-…You think iSCSI is a small furry rodent-…Your data center is still in the basement-…You’ve had to trace a wire under the floor of the data center-…You never considered the fact that servers could become sentient beings... read story

Over the years I have done a lot of work on pc's, laptops & servers of all flavors & brands. During this time I have also seen the rise & fall of many pc products companies. What seems to be the most significant issue, however, related to the pc industry has been the demise of customer service. Due in large part to the outsourcing of jobs (not just customer service ones) to OCONUS sites, customer service is now long since dead. I now make a fairly good living on simply running interference for customers that have been unfortunate enough to seek out assistance from pc manufacturers only to find factory support is available only from persons with whom they simply can not communicate. Furthermore, these persons are woefully deficient in knowledge and training, and are limited in their responses only to what they have in a script. And forget about speaking to an American citizen. It's as though the city of Austin is nothing more than a mirage, and the actual Dell complex really exists in India.There is simply nothing good to say about Dell. It siphons funds off the American economy to support economies elswhere. It's American customers are left looking for a rape kit. If only there was someone who cared enough about Americans to do something about this serial rapist (Dell).... read story